


My Struggling Mind...

by thatdankhammondlover



Category: The Grand Tour/Top Gear
Genre: fluffff, hand obsession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 09:05:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9878555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdankhammondlover/pseuds/thatdankhammondlover
Summary: I was asked by an anon to do a fic where Richard calms O/C when she is depressed. I got slightly carried away with this one (whoops) Enjoy! :)





	

We had finally finished our filming for the day, and I huffed as I rose from my usual seat next to James and Richard. I haven’t been myself lately, I was usually so flamboyant and positive, but the past few weeks have been torture for my weary head. It hadn’t been long since my faithful furry friend had passed away, he had been with me for 12 years and a few weeks ago, he had to let go. Now I don’t have anyone to come home to anymore. I couldn’t come in to work for a few days until I cleared myself up, but I feel it’s more than just that that’s making me feel negative. It’s the pressure here at work that also contributes. The constant demand for me to come and film something or to do voiceovers for a video. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job here, I don’t usually mind the workload, but it’s too much for me at this moment in time I have realised. I’m sick of having to put on a fake smile now, I’m not happy anymore. Jeremy, James and Richard are such amazing friends, Richard especially takes most of his time to be with me, I do admire him and his affection towards me.

As I have been doing the past few weeks, I slumped on the sofa backstage and decided to root through my bag to find my cigarettes, but to no avail. Of course, I gave up didn’t I? I gave up like a year ago, why am I looking for them?

“Something up chuck?” Jeremy said.

“I was, looking for my vape thing…” I lied.

“Craving one are we?” James said.

“Yeah, kinda I mean I gave it up cause I know it isn’t good for me, I know that but…” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Do you want to borrow mine dear?” Richard said as he roamed around his pocket handed it to me.

“Thank you Richard” I said taking a puff.

“Marcy, you haven’t craved since you gave up though?” Richard said. He could tell there was something wrong, and I didn’t like that. I didn’t want him to find out I was depressed again, then I would have to go through the shit ton of councillors and stuff like that, I wasn’t that bad surely, I wasn’t going back there.

“Just… leave it” I sighed and took another puff of Richard’s vape.

“Is there something wrong?” He asked.

“No Richard please don’t, there’s nothing wrong with me” I said standing up and walking to the back door to step outside. I didn’t want to let my anger get the better of me, so I had to leave them.

I closed the door as I stepped out and slouched on the chair, my head in my hands, I started to cry. I have been promising myself I wouldn’t for all these weeks, now I guess all my bottled up emotions were coming out. I cried silently, unaware that Richard had walked outside to find me.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright sweetheart” He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

I gave into his embrace and wrapped my arms around him also. I was now sobbing into his chest, clinging onto his shirt, it smelt of his wonderful musky cologne, and I buried my nose into the material, the scent calmed me instantly.

“I didn’t think my past would come back to haunt me…” I mumbled.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“I went through depression as a 15 year old, I didn’t think I would face it again…” I said.

“Oh baby, don’t worry, you’re okay” He rocked me into him, fully understanding what I meant ad he kissed my head.

“I don’t know what to do anymore” I mumbled.

“I tell you what, I’m going to get you through this, you’re not going home to nobody anymore, you’re coming home with me and I’m going to look after you until you are better” He said.

“Would you really do that for me?” I said looking into his eyes.

“Of course I would, I would do anything for you” He smiled, and I hugged him again.

“We’ve finished filming for now, so you can relax for a bit, get yourself back to the wonderful Marcy I know” He said.

“I can’t thank you enough, and you know what, I’m feeling a little better already” I smiled at him, and this made him smile harder.

“There’s that gorgeous smile” He said as his hand cradled my cheek. The warmth from his hand comforted me so much, and soothed my tense face from all the crying. For the first time in weeks, I felt happier.

We went home that afternoon, and we went to my house first to pick up all the things I needed while staying over at Richards. I wasn’t going back to this dreaded place for a while. I locked up and headed back to Richards car with my luggage. After a while we were on our way again, and I felt a surge of happiness protrude through me. I didn’t specifically know what it was. Was it because I was with Richard? Because I would be away from home? He looked in my direction briefly and smiled as he took my hand and we intertwined our fingers. We stayed like that until we came off the motorway and he needed to shift gear, but then he just placed his hand back again.

We arrived at Richards house eventually. I knew his place well, I had been here several times, so without wasting any time I bought my stuff in, Richard helping, and I made myself at home immediately. Richard invited me to sit with him on the sofa, and his first activity for me was to watch a film with him. I loved movie nights, and spending it with someone like Richard for me is heaven. He held his arm out as I sat down, asking permission for him to hold me, I smiled and scooted closer to him, his arm wrapping around me like a protective blanket. There was something about Richard that made me… love him that little bit more. The way he smiles, laughs, how affectionate and loving he is towards me, how… handsome he is, he’s gorgeous… my God he is, I never had the chance to fully inspect how truly beautiful he looks. I realised I was staring, so I turned my attention back to the movie, but the image of Richard stuck in my mind.

Halfway through the film, Richard gently tilted his head so it was resting on top of mine. I thought he was falling asleep, but I looked in the mirror to the side of us and realised he was still wide awake. The fact that he must have intended to do that made me feel all fluffy inside, I sighed happily and snuggled closer to him.

The film ended and it was nearing 11 o’clock. I was tired, but not to a huge extent.

“Shall we head up to bed then?” he asked.

“Yeah sure” I said. I rose from my seat as Richard did, and then he slipped his hand into mine as he leads the way upstairs. I was obsessed by the way he held my hand so unexpectedly, it felt amazing, not to mention the fact how much I love his hands. We reached upstairs and he took me into his room.

“So the shower is in there if you want one, towels just on the back of the door, and where would you prefer to sleep?” He asked.

“I have a choice? I questioned him.

“Yeah, you can either have the guest bedroom, or you could, if you wanted to that is, sleep with me?...” He said, a slight hint of embarrassment in his voice as he asked.

“Depends, would you mind if I slept with you?” I smiled.

“I wouldn’t mind at all, in fact I would like it very much” He smiled back.

“Well in that case keep it warm for me for when I get out the shower” I grinned walking into the bathroom and shutting the door. Wow Marcy where did those smooth moves come from… I was making a huge comeback from this depression, I even forgot how down I had been for all those weeks.

I took a nice long shower, savouring the feeling of the hot water trickling down my body. I stepped out and wrapped a towel around me, drying myself off and then slipping into a tank top and some pyjama bottoms. I dried my hair the best I could, then walked out, Richard was lying on the bed, reading a book, his glasses on the end of his nose. He looked up and his eyes widened, taking his glasses off and placing them and the book on the bedside table. He smiled dreamily and lifted the covers to where I was supposed to take my place on the bed, I returned him a smile and shifted between the warm covers, turning on my side to face him.

“Thank you” I whispered.

“It’s okay darling” He replied, lying down and turning on his side.

“I really mean it, thank you for all this, you’re so wonderful” I said.

“I hate seeing you upset dear, it was the least I could do to see that beautiful smiling face again” He grinned.

“Stop it!” I giggled.

“Stop what? I only speak the truth!” He giggled back.

“I am NOT pretty in any way at all, I mean look at me!” I laughed.

Richard grabbed both my hands and stopped me.

“Marcy, you are gorgeous” He said.

“You’re too nice to me” I smiled and kissed his forehead, Still holding his hands, we sat and I traced the wrinkles and veins along the back of his hand with my index finger, truly appreciating how wonderful they were.

“What are you up to?” He giggled.

“Just playing with your hands” I replied.

“Why?” He said, really very interested in what I was doing.

“I love them” I said.

“My hands? What’s so special about them?” He inspected them for himself.

“Just how nimble, agile and warm they are” I replied.

“Ooo I see” He beamed. “And where would you care for me to put them?” He asked almost devilishly.

“You can out them where you like, as long as they’re on me” I winked.

He turned around and switched off the light, then he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him. I felt his breath on my lips and I shuddered, without even thinking I leaned forwards and kissed him. I couldn’t see the expression on his face, but he leaned forwards and kissed me back, this time longer and harder. I smiled, and I knew he smiled back. I turned over so my back was against his chest, his arm draped over my stomach, and I fell asleep in his arms. I knew soon I would be over this tough time, in fact, I think I was already over it…

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :) I do also fully appreciate that I don't necissarily know what it's like to have depression, but I have some friends who have been through this tough time, I know the events in this story aren't really how it works, but just for the shortness of it they are how they are presented. I truly hope anyone who is actually suffering with depression out there or in fact reading this is okay, it's something truly difficult to cope with, and from the bottom of my heart, I really hope you find your true happiness soon <3


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